8 times I knew I was tired


I decided to adopt the “early tea and fast track into PJs” strategy, only to find everyone demanded a second tea and required a change of pyjamas. Double the work. Twice the pain.

I completely lost track of how many contact lenses I had put in each eye and took three out of one eye but still couldn’t see.

I listened to the entire Serial podcast thinking it was fiction.

I got the sofa bed out for use as a bouncy castle, and they used my face as the castle but it’s a lie down and I took it.

I wished for glandular fever & NHS-provided 24 hour childcare so I could watch back-to-back Line of Duty from the start.

I watched TV and for ten minutes thought Gino D’acampo was looking a bit old before realising it was Bruno Tonioli.

My request for an hour of nobody starting a sentence with “I want” so that Mummy can have a rest was met with “But I don’t want you to have a rest.”

My child said “Mum why are there two massive dogs in our living room?” when we don’t own dogs and I was in the living room and I hadn’t even noticed.


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