18 words you only need to hear once

Every stay-at-home parent deserves to hear the words I heard this weekend after leaving all three BUBs with their amazing Dad while I went grocery shopping.

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2014-11-22 12.55.35.jpgEvery stay-at-home parent of small children deserves to hear the words I heard this weekend after leaving all three BUBs with their amazing Dad while I went grocery shopping.

“I don’t know how you get anything done in the day. I haven’t even got my socks on.”

18 words. If these words could be printed and stuck to fridges, emblazoned on t-shirts, set as ringtones, then arguments would dry up, stress levels would fall, divorce rates would plummet. Cleaning companies would flourish.

Willy Wonka knows the score because I text him photographs throughout the day of devastated kitchens, eye-watering spillages and splattered clothing. He responds with photographs of parked Porsches for the BUBs and bowls of noodles in Chinatown. Do I wish I was him? Sometimes.

On Saturday we travelled to London to a screening of the upcoming Paddington film that WW has been working on. Leaving BUB.3 at the grandparents’ and travelling buggy-less with just the two older BUBs, it was a brilliant day but utterly exhausting. Two trains and a tube – an hour and a half journey each way – took it out of us all.

WW does that every day.

While I have been sometimes envious of his “me time”, his chance to finish a thought, I can now see that he probably can’t. His journey is often delayed by an hour or two, and it involves jostling, far more jostling than I experience even when I actually get in the bath with the BUBs (I do that, I do, I’m mad).

Whatever time he gets in, he is cold, tired and so very happy to see us all. He never complains, no matter what the day has thrown at him.

Does he wish he was me? Often. He would love to stay home with the kids, with or without socks. Did I tell him how I can now properly imagine how it is to do that commute every day. Yes, in about 18 words.

Are we better for it? For acknowledging, out loud, the challenges and sacrifices in what the other person does every day in order for us to be able to do what we are doing and for our children to be happy and where they need to be? Definitely.

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

11 thoughts on “18 words you only need to hear once

  1. Great post, and it’s always good to see things from eachothers perspective. I’m pretty sure that my husband has no clue how hard life is for me with four kids, three of whom are under three, but then I have no real idea of how difficult his job is or how tired he is each night returning home to four whiny kids. We argue about it a lot, how he has no idea just how much is involved in simply keeping our kids alive each day, but then I would much rather be a stay at home mum than have to miss out on all of the things that he does due to being at work. #KCACOLS

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    1. Wow, you have got it busy! I guess in a way it might be harder coming home from work because you’ve had a break from it and aren’t in the “zone” – but then again he has HAD a break and a sit down!!! 🙂 And yes, me too, I’d rather have my hardships than his. Very lucky. Thanks for reading!

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      1. Haha yes that is my argument too!! He gets a lunch break, a bit of peace and quiet to sit down and eat his food without sharing!! I get a packet of crisps at the kitchen sink!! ha! xx

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  2. I love this post I think stopping and appreciating each other is important, my Oh works 7-8.30 and barely gets any time at home, I know he beats himself up for not helping more and I give him a big cuddle and remind him of al the amazing things him working full time brings us, i.e… I can work part time. Lovely post, took me a little while to realise you didn’t send pics to actual Willy Wonka..#KCACOLS

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    1. Thank you. And yes, everything he does away from the home helps you and the family. It must be hard but like Willy Wonka (not the real one – real?), he knows what he’s missing out on. He just makes up for it when he is here. xx

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  3. I really liked this post. It is so nice to see that there are good and bad in both situations, working and staying home. But what i loved was that you appreciate what each other does in the run of the day as hard but worth it. Thank you! #KCACOLS

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    1. Thank you! You have to appreciate it or you’d just argue all the time (we do that too – ha!). I often send him text messages of the general chaos, spillages and devastation during the day to remind him what I do. 🙂

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  4. I think in an ideal world everyone would work part time and take a share in the childcare – then we would all have a more realistic perspective on each others’ experience of life!
    x Alice
    #kcacols

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