Trash bag

Every pregnancy is different but there is one universal truth about pregnancy. Normal rules do not apply during pregnancy.

As your body takes a one woman voyage to a land far, far away, your mind is also cast out to an obscure land where it is perfectly acceptable to fish baked bean-smeared trashy gossip magazines out of your neighbour’s wheelie bin. I did this, and it felt good.

People are very forgiving of hormones and as long as the baby is unharmed in any unsavoury practices you might find yourself involved in, you’ll discover that no one cares. It’s all about the baby. So I say take advantage of your invisibility and your rebellious body – you’re going to have to be a grown up very, very soon – and act appallingly.

I’d love to hear what distasteful or unnerving practices other people have taken part in during pregnancy, in their lust for food, trash or anything else.

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