My observation stands: those absolute idiots making utter tits of themselves to “You can’t touch this” by MC Hammer will be those who appear at your lowest moments (other than this one) with offers of help and comfort.
Caroline was an absolute tonic who reminded me of a female Keith Chegwin. The smiley bits, not the revealing-his-bollocks-on-TV bits. She physically looked like the love-child of two of my best friends, so when she sidled up to me and asked to swap numbers, I was hopeful that I would no longer have to sit at red plastic tables and feed my child uncooked jacket potato and hard grated cheese in order to be social.
There is a moment in every relationship when it begins, when love pops its head around the corner and asks “room for a little one?” and another moment when it slams the door hard in your face.