I found a belly button in my make up drawer today and I haven’t got a clue whose it is. If you need mementos and milestones at your fingertips, record it all AS IT HAPPENS. Read more →
In those weeks leading up to the birth of BUB.3, I felt my existence had been reduced to a bottle episode. A reduced cast, a solitary set and tension turned up to ten. And endless cups of tea. Read more →
You’re not “blooming”, you’re just cracking a smug smile because you don’t have an overwhelming urge to lie down on the tarmac at the supermarket car park or carry a vomit bucket around your neck all day long. Read more →
Everybody seems quite concerned about poor Kate being in labour while the world waits. But whether it’s day or night, hot or cold, once you’re in the zone, I think the sky could turn pink and small bananas could start raining down and you wouldn’t notice. I remember looking at the bag of neatly packed iPod speakers, cold compresses, hot water bottles, massage oils and other paraphernalia as merely a trip hazard during my first labour, Read more →
Walking through a shopping centre the other day I saw a Dad with a newborn baby tucked under his armpit. The baby was warm, safe, quiet and comfortable. He wasn’t being held in a sling, or cradled like a box of eggs. He was just hanging with his Dad. I felt like David Attenborough for a minute. Yes, we were bathed in the neon pink of HMV’s flickering signage, but it was lovely. Read more →
Day trips. Shudder. Most places we visit that require an entrance fee are at best a bitter disappointment and at worst a bitter regret.
Not only have you been robbed of the best part of a “pony”, you’re also left with rancid indigestion if you fall foul of the cafeteria and spend the majority of the day ankle deep in urine and loo roll as you trudge back and forth to the loos. Read more →
It just seems so much easier to BE the seahorse or the giraffe or the cow than to foist it on the baby long enough to make it love it. Either that, or my children have serious attachment issues. Read more →