I found a belly button in my make up drawer today and I haven’t got a clue whose it is.
There’s another one in the box in BUB.3’s bedroom along with the remaining post c-section codeine tablets, a snot sucker and some nipple cream, so I’m guessing that’s hers. I have an inkling that BUB.1’s might be in a box in the study containing my first pregnancy notes, but I can’t be sure. So through a process of elimination, I am thinking that this crusty specimen is BUB.2’s.
Of course, in this ‘loose’ state, if you lined them all up I couldn’t tell the difference.
Aside from loose belly buttons, there are no other real mementos. No fingerprint lockets. No baby books full of important dates. I have a box of beautiful, unfilled scrapbooks. I have vague notions of who did what when, but most knowledge is based on what I can see in photos and videos. I did make a list of BUB 1’s first words for a while…tree, moon, car…
I won’t ever have beautiful canvas prints of my family lining my stairs. If you asked me when the BUBs cut their first tooth I’d have to crank up iPhoto and search for a while and would probably give up after being distracted by photos of something else. I’m not very good at sending cards on time, or taking note of interesting recipes. Pinterest scares me to death.
When you have a baby, you think you’ll remember Every Single Thing. It’s all so vivid, so visceral. But you do forget. Memories blur into one and disappear as you make new ones. Children surprise and take your breath away every day (sometimes in horror, often in awe).
I have flashbacks and treasured moments. I can still feel the shock of the first cuddle, the pride at the first steps and the joy of the toothy grins. I just don’t need to know exactly when everything happened. It happened.
If you’re the sort of person who needs to have the dates, milestones and memories at your fingertips, I recommend you record it all AS IT HAPPENS. Not the day after, because something else will have happened by then and you’ll forget.
I’m only just realising that I don’t need to have all those facts. They don’t mean much to me. I’m just happy with the hugs today. Which is why I found a belly button next to my mascara this morning. Hey, it happens.